Why “It’s Fine” Isn’t Always Fine

Why _It's Fine_ Isn't Always Fine-3

We hear “fine” a lot. Like, a lot a lot. For a word that’s become so norm, so popular in daily conversation, it has lost its actual definition. It has downgraded to become a reference we all understand, but one that is so contradictory to what it was originally meant to signify. It’s affecting how our mind perceives and processes external situations; maybe it’s just me, but this new trend is driving me insane. This past week was one of the hardest I’ve ever had in school. I was falling behind, I wasn’t understanding the material, and really I was just lost in all aspects of everything. I wasn’t sleeping, I was completely overwhelmed, and I ate half as many meals as I skipped. It was a rough few weeks all culminating in one big finale. But what did I say week after week, day after day, hour after hour? […]

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From The Archives | Stop Helping And Serve Instead

Stop Helping.Serve Instead.

This post was originally published in March of this year (read it here). It’s been slightly edited to include the personal reflection that occurred since the original drafting, but the overall sentiment remains unchanged (because it’s timeless!). Why am I resharing it so soon? The service break applications at my school are due this week! Read about my spring break that started it all here and the most recent one that changed my outlook on life here! This past spring break, I participated in a second alternative service break trip through my university. We flew out to California to work with the nonprofit GRID Alternatives to install solar panels in under-served communities as well as integrate ourselves in the culture of the San Francisco Bay area. As I sat in my room on my first night back in North Carolina after a whirlwind of a week, I started to think […]

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What’s Our Problem With Commitment?

What's Our Problem With Commitment_-2

Why is our society today so afraid of committing? I’ve seen it time and time again, especially in the past few years. People hate making concrete plans. They’re terrified about locking themselves into a lease or contracts in general. They worry about where to go to college, who to marry, and what career to consider. We completely stress ourselves out over so many decisions and end up just avoiding them entirely instead. Why are we always so hesitant about anything that resembles future obligation and responsibility?   Is it because we’re so incredibly greedy that we don’t want to limit how much we can get? We live in a very “more” culture, so when we put ourselves in a situation of settling down with something, anything, we panic because we think that’s all we’re ever going to get. We have a happiness problem, a lack of appreciation and gratitude for […]

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Stop Apologizing

Stop Apologizing

“Some days, I am more wolf than woman and I am still learning how to stop apologising for my wild.” – Nikita Gill   I never realized how often I say “I’m sorry” until a text conversation I had this week showed me, plain as day, just how bad it’s gotten. For five exchanges in a row, I said “sorry” in every single one. I hadn’t done anything wrong. There wasn’t any issue or argument. A “sorry” was not needed nor was it expected from me. It was a normal conversation between two people, yet I was apologizing for literally everything I was saying. Why? Why must we feel the need to apologize for existing? Why do we feel the need to justify who we are as people? Why are we so self-conscious about what we say before, during, and after we say it that every statement we utter includes […]

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15 MORE Things I’d Rather Be Than Pretty

Things I'd Rather Be Than Pretty

I read this article from HerCampus a few months ago and it’s still on my mind, these past few weeks especially. It gives 26 words to describe someone other than just a pretty face. The point is that appearance doesn’t tell you who a person is. You’re probably rolling your eyes right now, but I really believe that. Pretty is only skin deep, but beauty is so, so much more. Pretty can only get you so far, but true beauty is so, well, beautiful. I want everyone to fall in love with your character, with how you make a difference for people, with who you are. You’re the total package, so why don’t we ever acknowledge that? I don’t want little girls to wonder if they’re pretty because that’s so subjective. I don’t want them to go through life ever doubting themselves. I want them to live with confidence. I want them to see what […]

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The Friend Group | Why “Squads” Are Holding You Back

why squads are holding you back-1

The #SquadGoals fad seems to have died down and I for one am happy to see it fade away. Obviously I fully support close bonds between one another and love to see how some people just click, but the concept of “squads” never sat well with me. I don’t have a single specific or defining friend group and that’s the way I intend to keep it. On the surface, these groups seem perfect. You would never have to do anything by yourself because the same people will be there for anything you would ever need to do. You would be able to go to class together, eat lunch together, do homework together (or, let’s be real, attempt to do homework), participate in student organizations together, party together, and, naturally, take millions of pictures together to post online with the hopes of making everyone else jealous they aren’t a part of your […]

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In Seven Words

In Seven Words

Yesterday was the first day of my online class for the summer. Assignment number one was to make a forum post introducing ourselves. Apparently there’s no such thing as escaping the dreaded ice breakers, even in a virtual class. Yay school 😉 Anyway, it seemed easy- you know, the basic name/year/major spiel that is the tried and true go-to for every omg-I-just-met-you-what-do-we-talk-about conversation with someone new in college. To take it one step further, we also had to include a description of ourselves using only seven words. Sounds simple, right? Well. As is my nature, I completely panicked and overthought every single one of those seven words, but hey, it got me thinking. There’s so much background to any one word we could pick to describe ourselves: so much context, depth, perceptions, experiences, subconscious, relationships, interests, jobs, dreams… you get the idea. All of those came into play to make […]

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A Look Into The Anxious Mind

A Look Into The Anxious Mind

Anxiety takes on so many different forms that it can be hard to fit into one box. Some people have more “extreme” experiences than others, but you can’t compare your struggles to someone else’s and make your own invalid. Nothing about you is invalid. I know that can be hard to convince yourself is true; I struggle with it myself even though I blog about it quite frequently. Below I have more or less a surface look into one aspect of my own anxiety that surrounds my relationships with the people in my life. As I mention, some days it gets worse and some days it gets better, but if you can understand why I apologize all the time or why I try to shrink back as much as possible or why the smallest of things make my day, then you will have a much better understanding of me and […]

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Stop Ignoring Your Worth

Stop Ignoring Your Worth-1

You clicked through to this post today for a reason. Maybe it’s because you want a little pep talk. Maybe it’s because you want to read my story of how I realized that I actually matter so you can find that for yourself. Maybe you’re just one of my friends trying to procrastinate on your homework (love you!). Or, maybe, you want an opportunity to tell me none of this applies to you. You still can’t see your own value so you think “Oh yeah? Don’t tell me what to do. You don’t know me” and go to work on your three page rebuttal as to why I’m wrong. Spoiler: I’m not 😉 This stubborn self-doubt can be, believe it or not, a form of entitlement which I recently read about in Mark Manson’s new book. According to Manson, “…construing everything in life so as to make yourself out to be […]

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Stop Helping And Serve Instead

Stop Helping.Serve Instead.-1

First, I apologize for my mini hiatus over the past two weeks. I promise it was all worth it though- I can’t wait to share what I’ve been up to and what I’ve learned! That post is live! Read it here. This spring break, I participated in another alternative service break trip through my university. We flew out to California to work with the nonprofit GRID Alternatives to install solar panels in underserved communities as well as integrate ourselves in the culture of the San Francisco Bay area. As I sat in my room on my first night back in North Carolina after a whirlwind of a week, I started to think back on a piece my team leader (shout-out to Kara <3 ) read to us on our service break the year before to rural Appalachia West Virginia. It discusses the difference between helping, fixing, and serving (you can […]

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