The Friend Group | Why “Squads” Are Holding You Back

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The #SquadGoals fad seems to have died down and I for one am happy to see it fade away. Obviously I fully support close bonds between one another and love to see how some people just click, but the concept of “squads” never sat well with me. I don’t have a single specific or defining friend group and that’s the way I intend to keep it.

On the surface, these groups seem perfect. You would never have to do anything by yourself because the same people will be there for anything you would ever need to do. You would be able to go to class together, eat lunch together, do homework together (or, let’s be real, attempt to do homework), participate in student organizations together, party together, and, naturally, take millions of pictures together to post online with the hopes of making everyone else jealous they aren’t a part of your group.

What I don’t understand, though, is why someone would want to do everything in life with the same people? Why shut yourself off from getting close with different friends? Yes, we all have best friends and people we’re closer to than others, but they don’t have to be the only ones you ever do anything with. If you limit yourself to one group of people right off the bat, you may find they aren’t your true tribe. Within any group of people there is always bound to be an argument here or there, especially one that spends every waking moment together, so what do you do when life gets a little rocky for your group? Where do you go? Who do you have? If your group suddenly disappeared from your life, would you still have someone to talk to, someone close enough to call family?

I’m not saying we need to be friends with everyone or even keep a large inner circle- I certainly don’t. What I’m saying is we need to keep an open mind, a refreshed outlook on our lives and the people in it. I don’t have a squad and I don’t want one. I think we’re all better off and will personally grow so much more without them. After all, different people keep life interesting. You don’t have to play into some pack mentality; you can shake it up and live life your way. Without a mutually dependent squad, you have the freedom to try new things, meet new people, expand your horizons, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I gained some amazing sisters from my sorority and I wouldn’t be thriving in college without them. I love my roommates to death; they keep me laughing and really just get me. I talk to my best friend of almost a decade all the time and, even though we’re at different universities, we’re still up-to-the-minute on each other’s lives. My good friends from high school are still just as close of friends and we get together when and where we can. I have people I’ve met in classes or through mutual friends who grew to be much more than that. I have my ASP family and my solar family, both of whom have grown to be some of the most authentic and soul-refreshing people I’ve ever met.

Every single one of them has added something unique to my life and they’re all so different from one another. They can all intermix and, because there is no clique or tone of exclusivity, we can just enjoy the company and forget about trying to establish who’s in some group and who’s not. This isn’t middle school anymore where if you weren’t in a well-established pack, you were an outcast. This isn’t high school where you couldn’t be seen hanging out at a locker by yourself in the morning. This is real life. This is banding together as a human race, not distancing ourselves by different bands.


“There’s a saying that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So, it’s up to you: would you rather be the average of five of the same people, or five people of all different types?”

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~What do you think?

why squads are holding you back

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